O Magazine worked together with Seventeen Magazine on a survey of mothers and daughters, to determine how effective the existing communication is between them. They also hoped to discover what changes can be made to better inform both parties. This survey covers both general information and statistics as well as very specific stories from women's' lives.
It shows the facts - sometimes disturbing, sometimes relieving - about what girls gain from these Talks with their mothers, as well as what is lost. The beautiful part of this article is that it is (loosely speaking) and instruction manual. As these women pour out their souls, and their experiences, you really get a feel for what works and what doesn't. Every woman (and every girl) are going to want and need completely different things (which is why men will never truly "understand women"), and this helps to show the balance of what works for whom.
"Every mother of an adolescent goes through a wrenching push-and-pull as she tries to both protect and let go of a child she loves beyond measure. How a mother knows when to trust this young creature to make the right decisions as she shares her body with another—that comes down to instinct, not numbers. But what our survey can, and does, assure us is that talking about sex with our daughters—no matter how awkward or embarrassing, no matter if we're met with utter adolescent disdain—is worth the effort. "
This article is informative, funny and slightly heartbreaking, but I would definitely call it helpful. Share this with your daughters and mothers, your sisters and friends.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
Safety Tips
There have been so many kidnappings and attacks, especially locally that I hvae heard of, and I cannot help but post things like this. I hope it helps:
Crucial
Because of recent abductions In daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation... This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, everyone you know. After reading these 9 crucial tips, forward them to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do : The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!
2.. Learned this from a tourist guide. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you... Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy.. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their chequebook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR , LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, Repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it . As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor , and in the back seat
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C..) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side... If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird.. The police told her 'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.
10. Water scam! If you wake up in the middleof the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is aburst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE! These people turn on all your outside taps full ball so that you will go out to investigate and then attack.
Stay alert, keep safe, and look out for your neighbors! Please pass this on This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby Theory was mentioned on America 's Most Wanted when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana
Crucial
Because of recent abductions In daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation... This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, everyone you know. After reading these 9 crucial tips, forward them to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do : The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!
2.. Learned this from a tourist guide. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you... Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy.. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their chequebook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR , LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, Repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it . As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor , and in the back seat
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C..) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side... If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird.. The police told her 'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.
10. Water scam! If you wake up in the middleof the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is aburst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE! These people turn on all your outside taps full ball so that you will go out to investigate and then attack.
Stay alert, keep safe, and look out for your neighbors! Please pass this on This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby Theory was mentioned on America 's Most Wanted when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana
Thursday, January 15, 2009
TURNING PAIN TO POWER Tour
Join V-Day for the TURNING PAIN TO POWER Tour & Stand Up for the Women of Congo!
"V-Day’s TURNING PAIN TO POWER Tour was developed to get the word out about violence against women in the Congo, and the efforts underway to end it. Through public conversations, Dr. Mukwege and Eve will expose the violence, explore the causes of the brutality, and share the stories of Congo’s growing movement of women leaders. The February 2009 tour will make stops in New York City, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Atlanta, and Washington, DC. "
To find the itinerary and to buy tickets, please follow this link:
http://newsite.vday.org/pain-to-power-tour
"V-Day’s TURNING PAIN TO POWER Tour was developed to get the word out about violence against women in the Congo, and the efforts underway to end it. Through public conversations, Dr. Mukwege and Eve will expose the violence, explore the causes of the brutality, and share the stories of Congo’s growing movement of women leaders. The February 2009 tour will make stops in New York City, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Atlanta, and Washington, DC. "
To find the itinerary and to buy tickets, please follow this link:
http://newsite.vday.org/pain-to-power-tour
Friday, October 24, 2008
Rock 'n' Roll Camp for Girls (Raining Jane)
If you do not already know and love the band Raining Jane, I suggest you stumble over to my HoneysuckleBlossom blog to discover their talents.For those of you who are familiar with their music, did you know that these women are also out to improve the world for young girls? Yeah, I thought that might interest you (or else you would not be reading this blog).
In August 2001 a summer program was developed on the Portland State University campus. This was called the Rock 'n' Roll Camp for Girls (RnRC4G). To understand how incredible this program is, check out their mission statement:
The Rock’n’Roll Camp for Girls, a 501(c)3 non-profit, builds girls self-esteem through music creation and performance.
Providing workshops and technical training, we create leadership opportunities, cultivate a supportive community of peers and mentors, and encourage social change and the development of life skills.
This amazing program has grown and developed with the help of many amazing people throughout the past seven years. The volunteers, teachers, musicians, and the community in general have established a place for young women to learn, not only music, but a safe and creative way to express and understand themselves.
In the summer of 2007, Raining Jane volunteered to teach and inspire these young women in Portland. I thank them for their contribution to this wonderful program, and even more so for introducing me to it. I am proud to spread the word about any course or group dedicated to improving the lives of young women.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
The Girl Effect
Check out this amazing video at http://www.girleffect.org/
If you want to end poverty and help the developing world, the best thing you can do is invest time, energy, and funding into adolescent girls. It's called the Girl Effect, because girls are uniquely capable of investing in their communities and making the world better. But here are 10 things that stand in their way:
*Let's see some ID. Without a birthcertificate or an ID, a girl in the developing world doesn't know and can't prover her age, protect herself from child marriage, open a bank account, vote, or eventually get a job. That makes it hard to save the world.
*Illiteracy does not look good on a resume... 70% of the world's out-of-school children are girls. Girls deserve better. They deserve quality education and the safe environments and support that allow them to get to school on time and stay there through adolescence.
*...and pregnancy doesn't look good on a little girl. Child marriages are the norm in many cultures where women's bodies aren't considered their own property. Pregnancy is the leading cause of death for girls 15-18 years old. Girls have a right to be able to protect their health and their bodies.
*The face of HIV is increasingly young and female. When girls are educated about HIV, they stand a better chance of protecting themselves. but education is not enough. Girls need to be empowered and supported to make their own choices.
*A nice place to work would be nice. If girls have the skills for safe and decnet work, if they understand their rights, if they are financially literate and considered for nontraditional jobs at an appropriate age, if they get their fair share of training and internships, they will be armed and ready for economic independence.
*The check is in the mail but it's going to your brother. Only one-half of one cent of every aid dollar spent in the developing world is earmarked for girls. And yet when a girl has resources, she will reinvest them in her community at a much higher rate than a boy would. If the goal is health, wealth, and stability for all, a girl is the best investment.
*Adolescent girls aren't just "future women". They're girls. they deserve their own category. They need to be a distinct group when we talk about aid, education, sports, civic participation, health and economics. Yes, they are future mothers. But they actually live in the present.
*Laws were made to be enforced. Girls need advocates to write, speak up, lobby, and work to enforce good laws and change discriminatory policies.
*She should be a statistic. We won't know how to help girls until we know what's going on with them. Hey, all you governments and NGOs and social scientists: You're accountable! We need an annual girl report card for every country so we can keep track of which girls are thriving and which girls are not.
*Everyone gets on board or we're all overboard. Boys, girls, moms, dads. If we don't all rally to support girls, nothing is going to change. Not for them, and not for us. Change starts with you. So get going.
Ladies, we have got to do something! Please, PLEASE spread word about this amazing program. Send the link for the Girl Effect to every one you know. Talk to your daughters and sisters about what YOU can do.
If you want to end poverty and help the developing world, the best thing you can do is invest time, energy, and funding into adolescent girls. It's called the Girl Effect, because girls are uniquely capable of investing in their communities and making the world better. But here are 10 things that stand in their way:
*Let's see some ID. Without a birthcertificate or an ID, a girl in the developing world doesn't know and can't prover her age, protect herself from child marriage, open a bank account, vote, or eventually get a job. That makes it hard to save the world.
*Illiteracy does not look good on a resume... 70% of the world's out-of-school children are girls. Girls deserve better. They deserve quality education and the safe environments and support that allow them to get to school on time and stay there through adolescence.
*...and pregnancy doesn't look good on a little girl. Child marriages are the norm in many cultures where women's bodies aren't considered their own property. Pregnancy is the leading cause of death for girls 15-18 years old. Girls have a right to be able to protect their health and their bodies.
*The face of HIV is increasingly young and female. When girls are educated about HIV, they stand a better chance of protecting themselves. but education is not enough. Girls need to be empowered and supported to make their own choices.
*A nice place to work would be nice. If girls have the skills for safe and decnet work, if they understand their rights, if they are financially literate and considered for nontraditional jobs at an appropriate age, if they get their fair share of training and internships, they will be armed and ready for economic independence.
*The check is in the mail but it's going to your brother. Only one-half of one cent of every aid dollar spent in the developing world is earmarked for girls. And yet when a girl has resources, she will reinvest them in her community at a much higher rate than a boy would. If the goal is health, wealth, and stability for all, a girl is the best investment.
*Adolescent girls aren't just "future women". They're girls. they deserve their own category. They need to be a distinct group when we talk about aid, education, sports, civic participation, health and economics. Yes, they are future mothers. But they actually live in the present.
*Laws were made to be enforced. Girls need advocates to write, speak up, lobby, and work to enforce good laws and change discriminatory policies.
*She should be a statistic. We won't know how to help girls until we know what's going on with them. Hey, all you governments and NGOs and social scientists: You're accountable! We need an annual girl report card for every country so we can keep track of which girls are thriving and which girls are not.
*Everyone gets on board or we're all overboard. Boys, girls, moms, dads. If we don't all rally to support girls, nothing is going to change. Not for them, and not for us. Change starts with you. So get going.
Ladies, we have got to do something! Please, PLEASE spread word about this amazing program. Send the link for the Girl Effect to every one you know. Talk to your daughters and sisters about what YOU can do.
Little Vitories
The community of Kapchorwa in Uganda has decided to outlaw female circumcision within their society!
Perhaps the most inspirational moment in this article was that "the campaign to end the practice has been alive in his community for several years, and that in the recent past, educated young women in Kapchorwa have shunned it."
The power of information and education should never be underestimated. I am proud to be an educated woman, and I want to celebrate my sisters in their accomplishment.
Perhaps the most inspirational moment in this article was that "the campaign to end the practice has been alive in his community for several years, and that in the recent past, educated young women in Kapchorwa have shunned it."
The power of information and education should never be underestimated. I am proud to be an educated woman, and I want to celebrate my sisters in their accomplishment.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Dear Friends
I have neglected this forum, and I am truly sorry. I seek to focus more on these blogs and articles in the future. Right now I am throwing some ideas around:
*I want to write about Sarah Palin, as she is a woman in the spotlight, but I am not sure how to go forward with the blog: what do I say? Do I discuss her political leanings? Do I only highlight the good, but ignore the bad? I cannot do that, and so I must take much more time to figure out her blog.
*I think I will write a few in the near future focusing on the amazing women in my personal life. Many show amazing strength every day, and they deserve highlighting as much as anyone else.
*My good friend Kelly is a history teacher, and she has a passion for women's history and women's rights that make me feel completely ignorant! I want her to visit and blog about some famous (and some practically unheard of) women in history who have paved the way for us.
If you would like to suggest someone (preferably with a specific example of why they deserve mention, and/or a link) please feel free to comment.
*I want to write about Sarah Palin, as she is a woman in the spotlight, but I am not sure how to go forward with the blog: what do I say? Do I discuss her political leanings? Do I only highlight the good, but ignore the bad? I cannot do that, and so I must take much more time to figure out her blog.
*I think I will write a few in the near future focusing on the amazing women in my personal life. Many show amazing strength every day, and they deserve highlighting as much as anyone else.
*My good friend Kelly is a history teacher, and she has a passion for women's history and women's rights that make me feel completely ignorant! I want her to visit and blog about some famous (and some practically unheard of) women in history who have paved the way for us.
If you would like to suggest someone (preferably with a specific example of why they deserve mention, and/or a link) please feel free to comment.
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